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So nobody comes here anymore? This will just be for my own benefit then. I often find myself reflecting when I've stayed up until early morning stressing out about life.

I'm dangerously close to failing my Computational Physics class, which is ALL Matlab programming and numerically calculated physics (really poorly taught). I haven't gotten so much as a C the entire time I've gone back to school. We had assigned study partners and mine dropped the class without even telling me.

I looked through my old entries and found when I decided to go back. That was May of 2010. It's been 5 years and I am FINALLY on the cusp of finishing school. This is my last semester - IFF I don't FAIL THIS CLASS!

I don't want to be in school any more. I am burnt out. I can't take the stress. My classes are all so hard. I'm taking 3 senior level physics classes and a math class. I actually have an A in Astrophysics. So that's something.


So Naomi is doing great in school. She is doing well in gifted as well. The only thing is that she loves music and singing, but she has no will or wish to learn how to play any instruments or how to read music.

JJ's been really supportive of me and my anxiety about school, with my long hours studying and stuff.

I'm back on the fitness wagon and I've been exercising every day for 44 days so far. Haven't lost a single pound, but maybe that's okay.

my face lately

baby cousin!

My cousin Han han had a little boy.

normally I don't think newborns are cute. but he's pretty cute. Asian baby!!! :D His name is 郑恩和 (Zheng en he)


thanks to everyone who came out to JJ's party. It was a crazy night. If there's one thing I learned, it's that drunk people LOVE chips and dip.

Fuck cleaning up today... I just want to lounge around and be lazy. I really need to re-hydrate myself.

suburban life

Recently this girl I dislike posted some crap about how the suburbs are shit and "cookie cutter" and racist, citing "white flight."

Okay, some of us were forced to live in the city because we were fucking POOR. The last thing us colored folk need is some obnoxious white girl whine about how racist the suburbs are. We also don't exist to decorate your boring ass "quirky" life like some colorful movie extras. And if the place you live is the most interesting thing about you, then that tells me that you are blander than a box of store brand saltines. She said that having a non-conformist life was better than living in a safe neighborhood. Can you even statistics, bitch? More people in the world live in cities than suburbs. Also spoken like someone who will never even have children. I'd rather have an actual yard fory kids and pets to play in than cram them in some small apartment and get robbed (which actually happened to jj) in the motherfucking city. This is not Chicago. Our violent crime rate per capita is very high and the schools are not even accredited. Fuck this pretentious bitch.

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I have tried to be giving because I like giving, but none of that shit is ever reciprocated. I can barely get Justin to get me food from my favorite food truck. I surprised him with his favorite Thai food when he was home sick one day. I went out of my way to get it.

Seriously, he wouldn't do it, even though HE went to get HIMSELF something and was working from home that day so he had all the time in the world. He was going there anyway! Why couldn't he just fucking pick me up a chicken bowl and put it in the fridge? That's too much to ask!??!?! I JUST WANTED GODDAMN KOREAN FOOD

doin science!

Started work this week. We are analyzing spectra from protoplanetary disks. I hate that we have to use macs. There is no reason we use them other than my professor being a fangirl. Macs are fucking awful.

I do most of my work in a unix terminal and write programs in IDL. I've only ever programmed in java, so I'm getting used to it. My superior is a grad student named Logan, who seems knowledgeable and fair. My project partner Nathan who is also supposed to work fulltime is a fucking slacker already. Monday he only came in for a few hours. Yesterday we waited all day for him, only for him to take a ,"personal day" the second fucking day of work! Today he strolled in 40 minutes late and takes smoke breaks every hour. Wtf. This guy sucks. I can tell I will be dealing with his lazy ass all summer.

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mother's day

Naomi's in China with my parents. ): Miss her lots. I'm studying for finals. blah.

thoughts on the hunger games

It's my birthday, woot.  Justin actually got me a present.  hurf.  Resident Evil 6 on steam. :b  He forgot it was coming up.  heh.

I just spent the day lounging around and watching Hunger Games on netflix.  I avoided this for a long while, because I hate overhyped things.

Strike 1, stupid holographic display to look "futuristic," similar to Minority Report and other sci fi movies

Strike 2, poor acting

I know they're child actors, but come on... Every scene feels like they're reciting a script.

Strike 3, shoddy editing

No canon shots fired for two of the tributes.  Did they just forget to do it?  Why???  That's the dumbest error that could easily be fixed in post editing... I can't believe they just let the movie release as it is.  There were some other small goofs like that too.

Overall, felt like an amateurish movie with a huge budget.  Like they were in a great hurry to make money off the book franchise. With the mediocre acting, it was apparent that they casted for attractiveness and not for acting ability. Pretty disappointed with the cinematography.  Adaptations are always a let down.

smart cookies

I finalized my job discussions with my professor, and I had a choice between comets and star forming disks, and I chose disks! I am so stoked to finally have a job in my field, even if it is small potatoes. I will have to work full time, though, and that will be hard to schedule around Naomi.

Speaking of Naomi... She tested into the gifted program at school! I am about to become one of those obnoxious parents who brag about their "gifted child." I am absolutely beaming about it. I knew she was good at reading, but I didn't know her cognitive skills were so advanced. She was reading The Hobbit on her own. I didn't read that until at least middle school. I'm very proud. I did nothing besides reading a lot with her. She busted that learning curve all her own.

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boring life go ahead

I talked to my professor and I can do the research over the summer.  She said we'd probably be doing work with comets.  I R EXCITE

The best part is that it may be both paid and for college credit!  Another requirement out of the way (I have to finish a research project before I graduate and didn't know this could count!)

I bought a whole chocolate cake but luckily JJ's family came and ate most of it.  lol.  I have had like 3 slices of it since a few days ago so I dunno...  It's damn good chocolate cake.  It's from Dierbeg's and was just generically labeled "Celebration Cake."  I guess Easter was good enough a reason.  We didn't do shit but Tim's family did stuff with Naomi, so that was alright.  She got so much fucking chocolate.  It's like Halloween, except no trick or treating.  Just chocolate eggs and bunnies out the wazoo.  I liked having everyone over, but we went hiking in the wooded area behind the house and there was mud everywhere afterward.  I usually just vacuum the floors (wood not carpet) so I'm at a loss at what to do.  Get a swiffer wet jet?

Feeling ambivalent about life right now.  I need to study for a test but I'm probably going to procrastinate.  I think I made a buddy in my Astronomy class who is also going to do research over the summer.  The dude is an auto mechanic and trying to take 14 credit hours and work 50 hours a week!  I guess that makes my work load seem like nothing.  Taking care of Naomi is getting easier as she is getting older and can do more on her own, and also take walks with me and Molly.

ALSO WALKING DEAD IS SO STUPID NOW and I can't stop watching it.  The season finale was a sack of dumb, I can't handle it.  I need to get into Game of Thrones or something, which is probably also overrated but whatever.  Left 4 Dead 2 is also getting boring as I have put way too many hours into it.  I'm playing a bunch of Scavenge and survival and modded crap now.  I want to get Resident Evil 6 but it's $40 and I am a cheapskate.

Just kidding, I'm probably going to play Left 4 Dead 2 until they make a sequel (never happening).

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March 2015


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